What was Adoption like for You?
The adoption experience is unique for each adopted person. Understanding the impact of adoption is challenging and often overlooked by an adoptee. You may have grown up hearing:
- You were a gift to us.
- You were chosen.
- Have you found your ‘real’ family?
- It was God’s will.
- Your mother “gave you up” out of love.
While these comments are well meaning, they’re not helpful. The common narrative in society is that adoption is positive. It’s the best outcome for an unplanned pregnancy and to help a childless couple build a family. This narrative leaves out the adoptee’s voice. As an adoptee myself, I find this problematic. Everyone’s voice counts.
Adult Adoptees May Feel:
- a sense of loss; grief
- not being grounded
- a lack of focus in their lives
- a general sense of dissatisfaction
- like an outsider
- not feeling real
- not good enough
- a sense of genealogical bewilderment
Search and Reunion
You may be struggling with if you should search for first family members. Both desire and fear are normal. Fear of the unknown and fear of hurting adoptive and birth parents. Remember, nobody starts a book at chapter 2. It’s perfectly reasonable to be curious about the 1st chapter of your life.
If you’re in reunion you may be dealing with some unexpected feelings and behavior. Such as:
- social aniexty
An adoption competent therapist can help you navigate the difficult landscape of adoptee land. Holding space for you when things are painful and hard to understand. As adoptees, we’re often prone to worry about the needs of others above our own. Therapy is a place that is just for you.
Call or email me to set up a phone consultation, 30-minute consultation in person, or to schedule an appointment. Both consultation options are free of charge. Additionally, I’m happy to discuss therapy, support groups in the area, search angels, or refer to other adoption competent therapists if you’re not in my area.
*I work with individuals aged 18 and up.